یکی از مهمترین راههای تقویت مهارت writing task2 در آیلتس آشنایی با موضوعات جدید و همچنین آشنایی با لغات و عبارات مرتبط با آن موضوعات می باشد.در این پست یکی از موضوعات مطرح شده در سال 2017 به همراه دو نمونه essay که اولی در حد 8.5 و دومی در حد 9 میباشد ارائه و تحلیل می گردد.
Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?
در این موضوع جمله ای به عنوان fact مطرح و از شما خواسته شده که خوب یا بد بودن این حقیقت و عواقب آن را وقتی بچه ها بزرگ میشوند، بررسی نمایید. توجه کنید در این نوع موضوع مطلقا از شما موافقت یا مخالفت با این حقیقت سئوال نشده است و اینکه شما بخواهید جمله اول را نقض کنید موضوعیت ندارد و فقط باید آن را بپذیرید و نتایج آن را از منظر عواقب این وضعیت روی بچه ها مورد بررسی قرار دهید.
در پارگراف اول همانگونه که میدانید paraphrase کردن topic و در ادامه thesis statement باید ارائه گردد. به نمونه introduction و طریقه دوری کردن از کپی کردن صورت سئوال که نمره منفی دارد توجه نمایید:
نکته: استفاده از زمان حال کامل به دلیل وجود fact در صورت سئوال میباشد
Indulging children has been a common parenting problem in many modern families. From my perspective, this practice exerts some immediate adverse impacts on children and also results in long-term consequences for them.
تحلیل body paragraph اول: در این پارگراف، موضوع از دیدگاه نتایج کوتاه مدت حقیقت مطرح شده مورد تحلیل قرار گرفته است. یکی از راههای شکل دادن به یک پارگراف مدل top to down میباشد که در این مدل که یکی از مدلهای ساده و معمول سازماندهی به پارگافهای بادی در آیلتس می باشد در ابتدا موضوع اصلی یا همان topic sentence قرار گرفته و در ادامه شروع به support آن با استفاده از جزئیات، مثالها، اطلاعات آماری و موارد دیگرمیشود. توجه داشته باشید استفاده از cohesive devices یا ابزارهای انسجام مانند in addition , however, as a result , for example جهت ایجاد انسجام الزامی است.
In the short term, it is possible that over-indulgence causes some delay to the process in which children learn important life skills. This can be seen in a variety of age groups, ranging from toddlers to teenagers. For example, many over-caring parents spoon-feed their children until they are five or six, the developmental stage in which they should have already been able to eat independently. There is also a common practice that parents assist their pre-adolescent children in taking a bath or a shower. As a result, children may fail to acquire basic personal hygiene skills at the right time.
تحلیل body paragraph دوم: در این پارگراف موضوع از منظر نتایج fact در بلند مدت مورد بررسی قرارگرفته است. توجه داشته باشید از آنجاییکه زبان علم با احتمالات همراه میباشد نویسنده در جملات خود سعی بر استفاده از زبان آکادمیک داشته و از عباراتی مانند may, can, it is possible استفاده نموده است. در هر دو پارگراف در انتها جمله ای مبنی بر جمع بندی نیز ارائه شده است. استفاده از collocation های مرتبط با موضوع نیز از دیگر نقاط قوت این نمونه رایتینگ میباشد.
In the long run, the consequences are even direr as over-indulged children grow up. If parents unconditionally satisfy all the needs of their children, they may have inadvertently made their children become over-dependent on other people. When these children enter adulthood, the inability to live independently can cause some difficulties for them to maintain their overall well-being, for instance, they may be unaware of what to do when they catch a fever. Furthermore, it is a norm that over-indulgent parents are lenient and do not require children to face the consequences of their misbehavior. In general, this deprives children of the opportunities to learn from mistakes, which may cause their problem solving skills to be severely lacking in the future.
تحلیل conclusion paragraph : در انتها، خلاصه دلایل مطرح شده و ارجاع آن به پارگرافهای پیشین انجام شده که یکی از روشهای معمول جهت حفظ coherence در کلیت متن می باشد.
From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that over-indulgence may produce a number of unfavorable effects on children, including the delay in gaining crucial life skills such as self-feeding and the long-term consequence of lacking the ability to cope with problems as adults in the future.
Useful Vocabulary, Collocations & Expressions for IELTS Writing
Parenting (adj) the raising of a child by its parents
Exert negative/adverse impact/influence on (phrase) have a bad effect on
Result in (verb) lead to
In the short term (phrase) during the period of time that is not very far into the future
Over-indulgence (n) to allow someone to do or have whatever they want
Life skills (n) skills that are needed to deal effectively with the challenges of everyday life, at school, at work and in personal relationships
Spoon-feed (phrase)
Development stages (phrase) theoretical milestones of child development
In the long run (phrase) during the period of time that is far into the future
Inadvertently (adv) not deliberately, and without realizing what you are doing
Lenient (adj) permissive, merciful, or tolerant
Deprive of (verb) if you deprive someone of something, you take it away from them or preventthem from having it Band 9.0 Sample 2
Today, there is a growing trend among parents towards trying to accommodate their children’s every demand and giving them more personal freedom. In this essay, I am going to demonstrate how this child-rearing practice is detrimental to children before arguing that its repercussions may reverberate in their adulthood.
Parents may wean their kids on an over-reliant lifestyle by fulfilling all of their wishes. Kids who are granted every request typically develop a habit of pestering and relying on their parents for everything. This dependence may deprive them of the motivation to strive in life, which may take a heavy toll on their school performance, for example. As these children become grown-ups, the inability to lead an independent lifestyle will cause them to struggle in many facets of life. For instance, people who are given generous allowances when they are small are unlikely to be able to budget and manage their personal finances. This is an example of the adverse impacts that parents’ over-indulgence may have on small kids.
In addition to spoiling children, entitling them to too much personal freedom may also result in dire consequences. People’s personality is shaped at an early age, and without parents’ close supervision, children may be vulnerable to negative influences and adopt harmful habits. For example, many children use profanities from as early as primary school because their parents allow them to play video games at Internet shops where cussing is the norm. This type of behaviors, which often incites disobedience and recklessness, may be the precursor to an adulthood of crime. In fact, it has been shown that many criminals began rebelling and committing illegal acts from a young age as a result of their parents’ negligence. This is a testament to how an unsupervised childhood may cause small kids to suffer serious consequences as they become adults.
In conclusion, granting children all of their wishes may do serious harm to their personal development, and thus this practice should be rejected to ensure a healthy lifestyle for their kids.
Useful Vocabulary, Collocations & Expressions for IELTS Writing
A growing trend towards (phrase) to move gradually toward something
Accommodate one’s demand (phrase) making an adjustment to suit a particular demand
Child-rearing (adj) parenting
Repercussion (n) a bad effect that something has, usually lasting for a long time
Reverberate (verb) to have an effect that spreads over a wide area or lasts for a long time
Wean someone on something(phrase) to make someone get used to something when they are young
Have/develop a habit of (doing) something
Pester (verb) to keep annoying someone, especially by asking them for something or asking them to do something
Take a heavy toll on (phrase) have an adverse effect on something
Vulnerable to something (adj) able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally influenced
Profanity (noun) a word or language that is offensive because it is rude
Recklessness (noun) not thinking about the possible bad effects of your actions
Precursor (noun) something that exists before something else, and is related to it or influences its development
Testament (noun) something that serves as a sign or evidence of a specified fact